A few days ago a friend shared an article on my Facebook page about Mom types and why you need a friend from each of those categories. (See the article here 11 Types of Mom Friends and Why They are Important. ) She tagged me because this meme(see below) featured in the article was so me. I read it and had to agree. I am THAT Mom, the “crunchy” one that always has a natural cure for what ails you and a way to do it without those evil, pesky chemicals and devilish dyes.
However, as I read the descriptions of the rest of the Mom types, I had to stop and ponder? Is this how everyone sees me? Is this the totality of my being? Am I bound to my type as “THAT CRUNCHY Mom!!” Are all the other Moms I know just a “type” and if so is that a bad thing?
As I read the rest of the types, I found that I could relate a little to most of them, a LOT to a few of them, and not at all to one or two. I also found I had friends from every single category. Yet as I studied the article and laughed at each description I pondered why is it that we type ourselves and why do we always seem displeased with our own type? Why do we care so much if Susie and Jane don’t agree with our way of parenting? Why do we care how they parent?
Using myself as an example: I do take pride in my “Crunchiness”, I know a lot about natural living, healthy eating, and herbal medicine. I LOVE THOSE THINGS!! I am good at it because I love it and I am constantly on the prowl for new and pertinent information. I can’t help it, I think it is the best way, the right way, if I didn’t I wouldn’t live it and preach it. However, some days I think that limits me because I feel inferior to the Type A Mom or the Pinterest Mom! Why can’t I be more crafty and organized? Could I be those? Surely they are much better at this Mom thing than I am. Sometimes I would LOVE to be those! Sometimes…Yet I don’t normally try because I don’t feel like I could ever get organized enough or that I am near crafty minded enough. I limit myself but WHY? I see that my other Mom friends limit themselves also; why?
Do we limit ourselves because we are comfortable with our type? Because we are too busy and exhausted to seek another way? Do we limit ourselves because we are insecure and feel overwhelmed by the idea of learning another way? Or is it simply who we are? Is it because we have finally grown up enough to be HAPPY with our “type”.
I feel like it is all of the above, but I hope it is mostly the latter. I want to make crafts, be organized and have a schedule, but I just can’t. I’m too happy being me. After years of fighting who I was, wasting time trying to be what I pictured as the perfect Mom, I finally embraced my type and I couldn’t be happier. Get that, I am HAPPY being slightly frazzled and super crunchy. I’m also very busy and very exhausted just like every other Mom I know.
Sure, I have made some improvements over the years. I strive to better myself, we should always strive to be better, but what is really better? Is being “Type-A better than being “Frazzled”? It depends on you and your life. I know many “Frazzled Moms” who still have it all together, who have a very happy husband and happy children. So why should they change that? Remember, “If Mom is happy, EVERYONE is happy!!”
So yeah, it is all of those reasons!! As Moms, we are happy, we are busy, we are exhausted, and we are who we are. I don’t need a set routine to be happy yet I know other Moms who cringe at the thought of varying 2 minutes from their normal schedule. The thought of packing up the family and heading on a week long trip with little or no notice makes many moms twitch while some of us would embrace the challenge.
The point is: we should only attempt to change our type when those changes are necessary to accommodate life and the well-being of our family and others. Changes should add happiness and remove stress.
So what is the point I am trying to convey to my Mom friends?
HUG YOURSELF!! BE HAPPY!!
Be THAT Mom!! Be the Mom that makes you happy.
Do you need extreme scheduling and organization? Get a label maker and go to town! Are you happier just going with the flow? Then just dance in the wind and play in the rain! Need to make everything from scratch? Just PIN IT! Do what works best for your family and makes you happy!
In the end what motivates each one of us in our decision making?
What is the common denominator of each of the “types” of Moms?
It is as simple and primal as this:
LOVE FOR OUR FAMILY!
We are all only doing what is best for our family. Obviously we each think that we are right in our ways, if we didn’t we wouldn’t do things that way. However, is what is right the same for each of us? NO WAY!! Does that make you wrong if your ways aren’t my ways? NO WAY!! You are motivated by the same love as I am and that is what makes it right. Your motives are GOOD, my motives are GOOD, we are all Moms seeking the same end. THAT is the common denominator in all of this.
Proverbs 21:2 (CJB) “All a person’s ways are right in his own view, but ADONAI weighs the heart.”
God judges our motives, not man! Don’t let the style or thoughts of others guide you and don’t judge others by your standards. Judge yourself, test your heart as God would. Ask yourself, what is my motive? Before judging another mom ask; what is her motive? 99.9% of the time the answer will be LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! If that is the answer then it is right. Why? Because what is God? LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! Pure LOVE! Therefore our ways are right for our family when our motive is LOVE.
Embrace THAT Mom!! The mom motivated by LOVE, happy doing what works best for her family.
Be THAT Mom!! LOVE THAT MOM!!
I am THAT Mom…
I am that Frazzled – Crunchy Mom. I have always been a nature lover, a hippie so to speak. As a child, Native American culture fascinated me, Laura Ingles was my hero, Dr. Quinn and Emergency were two of my favorite shows. I wanted to be a “Medicine Woman”. I can spend hours in a biology book. I am never in a hurry, yet always in a rush. I rarely know what time it is. I can pack a suitcase and leave for a week tomorrow morning if someone suggests it. Routines are for the OCD people. I don’t care what time we go to bed, however, I will tell you all the evils of preservatives and food dye and will read every ingredient in attempts to avoid them. I will offer you raw milk to drink, I will brew you up some elderberry and mullein tea for your cold, and I’ll slap a little plantain on your bee sting. My babies smell of essential oils. Dirt? No worries here it only builds the immune system. My herbs are in alphabetical order, but I can’t tell you when I last mated the socks and counter tops are typically unseen. It is who I am, it is what makes me happy, it is the desire God has placed in me and it is my talent. I am learning to embrace myself, improve where I need and enjoy the ride the rest of the time.
Keep up the good work Mom! You are a ROCK STAR!!
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