Yes I have 6 kids!
No, I am NOT a rabbit!!
Yes! I do know what causes that!!!
Want me to share??
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Pregnancy: It should be easy, right? You do the baby dance and VOILA baby!! For many of us that is exactly what happens. For the most part I never really “tried” to get pregnant, I knew my cycle, I knew when I was most fertile, we did the dance, babies followed. It was the natural order of things. However, for so many of my friends and relatives this just isn’t the way it happens. They are suffering silently.
So what can a mom of 6 children, who apparently gets pregnant just by thinking about it have to say about infertility? A lot, not much, both. I have spent so much time learning about reproduction and infertility because even though it doesn’t plaque me personally, over 25 of my friends and family, that I can name right now, and probably as many more I don’t know about are suffering. I wish I could join them together and let each one that comes to me know that they are not alone, but alas the subject is taboo and women suffering feel as if they must hide like they have a communicable disease. Why is there so much shame?
WHY? WHY is it so taboo to talk about? If you are suffering, break the silence, because Mama you are not alone!
I have to wonder why infertility seems to be an ever increasing problem? My conspiracy theorist side has many thoughts about water supply and food products controlled by big government, big ag, and big pharma, but I digress. (I have to keep that lady in a cage or she could really get carried away.)
My realist side knows that in today’s society women are over worked, over stressed, exposed to more toxic chemicals, artificial hormones and hormone disrupting chemicals in their environment, food, and beauty products than they ever have been before. The effect of all this over exposure is cumulative. So we MUST clean up, detox, and simplify our lives. This applies to the men too.
Many things here will be old news to some who have been walking this path for many moons, but for someone, just starting this journey,I hope this information helps.
No I do not know the pain of infertility as such! However I am sympathetic to those that long to hold a baby in their arms. Yes I do know the longing to hold a baby, thinking there will never be a baby! Yes I know the pain of loss also. Don’t assume a mother of many children has never suffered wanting or loss.
For those of you with friends and family who struggle month after month charting, temping, tracking, taking shots, pills, supplements, etc. QUIT telling them “just relax, it will happen, you are stressing too much.” Truth is, the last thing they want or need to hear and it isn’t that simple.
NOTE: These aren’t a new and improved magical ways to get pregnant, these are just resources I have found while helping others search, compiled into one place, to help you if you are traveling this path.
- Quit Stressing– Seriously, I didn’t just say that after saying not to say that, did I? YEP, I did. Just not like you think. Infertility is STRESSFUL!I don’t mean quit stressing about infertility, I mean QUIT STRESSING, in general, STOP!!! Stress, whether real or perceived, creates stress hormones, these are needed for “fight or flight” however, during times of fight or flight mode the body shuts down systems like reproduction. (Obviously if you are running for your life and fighting for your life you do not need to be bothered with reproduction.) If you are in a constant state of stress your body thinks you are “surviving” therefore it shuts down reproduction.
- Eat REAL Foods– This is my soap-box issue. YES! However it is one of the most important steps you can take for getting HEALTHY and preparing your body for having babies. Eating real foods does not guarantee pregnancy, but it takes out many of the chemicals and hormones that can prevent pregnancy. I know several women who have switched over to a real food diet or a very close to real food diet like “Trim Healthy Mama” and became pregnant within a few months even after years of trying. This is one of those tips where “It ain’t gonna hurt ya to give it a try for a few months.” CLEAN UP THAT DIET and see what happens. At the very least you will be healthier and less stressed. My post Food Additives & Real Food information will help you eliminate some of those pantry toxins. While you are at it clean up your environment too, get rid of household cleaners, beauty products, and other items that contain toxic chemicals and aim for something safer like “Ava Anderson Non Toxic Products”
- Take Your Vitamins– I LOVE these Rainbow Light Prenatal One, 7 pregnancies and I can’t tell you how many different vitamins, THESE have been my go to since I found them. They are easy to take, one a day, and the iron in them is from real food so they don’t upset your tummy. Starting healthy increases your odds of conception.
- Take FOLATE: I can’t stress this enough. Take a supplement like Solgar Folate 1,000mcg a couple of times a day. Many people have MTHFR, a genetic and clotting disorder that causes them to not convert folic acid to a usable folate, among other things. It also blocks the uptake of natural folate when taking high doses of folic acid. Therefore some research has indicated that it is much better to go ahead and take the folate instead of folic acid to keep the body from working as hard. **Note many people with MTHFR have several healthy pregnancies before finding out they have it. From the website MTHFR Living:
“… mother’s inability to convert folic acid into l-methylfolate. Before I was aware of MTHFR, I was ingesting copious amounts of folic acid. This just blocks a person with MTHFR’s ability to absorb and assimilate natural folate and methylfolate. It is a major failing of current widespread prenatal advice that more women are not aware of the problems of folic acid for so many members of the population. A lack of folate and/or B12 can cause everything from spina bifida to anencephaly to Down’s Syndrome. Elevated homocysteine can cause low birth weight and premature birth….”
“…It is especially important to avoid folic acid, which is the synthetic form of folate, if you and/or your baby has MTHFR gene mutations. This does not mean that you shouldn’t consume folate. Synthetic folic acid cannot be converted properly to methylfolate and blocks the folate receptors in people with MTHFR. Try taking methylfolate instead, as recommended by Dr. Ben Lynch in this article….”
- Baby Aspirin: If you are having repeat miscarriages or early miscarriages PLEASE talk to your doctor about taking a baby aspirin each day. There is some evidence that points toward aspirin helping to prevent miscarriage by protecting the baby from being clotted off by the mother’s body if she has a clotting disorder. My doctors advised me it would not hurt and my next two pregnancies after my miscarriage were successful. It may be as simple as that. However this is a talk to your doctor first.
- Progesterone: I like Progestelle. After ovulation, the remains of the egg follicle SHOULD signal the body to make higher levels of progesterone. Once a fertilized egg implantsthe placenta should signal the follicle to keep it up until the placenta is big enough to take over progesterone production itself, at about 13 weeks gestation. Progesterone is the hormone that keeps your period away if you are pregnant. It causes the uterine lining to be rich and thick and the perfect place for an egg to implant. However, if you suffer from PCOS or other hormone imbalances your body might be signaling a progesterone drop too soon after ovulation, causing you to lose your uterine lining before a fertilized egg has a chance to implant. If this is the case you can prevent this by using progesterone oil from the day after confirmed ovulation until 13 or 14 weeks gestation or you can see your doctor for progesterone pills. Progesterone tips:
- DO NOT take it or use it prior to ovulation it will PREVENT ovulation.
- DO NOT stop using it if you are pregnant. Stopping can cause miscarriage.
- Start using it the day after confirmed ovulation NOT before. If you do not get a positive pregnancy test when it is time and you are not pregnant then stop the progesterone, start your cycle, and pick the progesterone up the day after ovulation again.
- CHECK WITH YOUR DOCTOR!
- Sperm Meets Egg– Free Amazon download!! (at the time of this blog) GET IT!! The process, in a nutshell; you need to be doing the baby dance at least every other day from the day after your period ends until your fertile window. During your fertile window, 3 days before ovulation until 2 days after ovulation, you need to be doing the baby dance EVERY DAY. Then again every other day until your cycle returns, take a break, and start again. 😉 Get busy, the more you do it the higher your chances. The book explains why all the old sayings about resting to keep sperm counts high are wrong. Just trust me, do it a LOT . By the way, remember tip 1, DE-STRESS, well orgasm lowers stress hormones, therefore more baby dancing = less stress = increased fertility.
- Making Babies– GET THIS TOO!! This is a great guide to conception and beyond from a completely ALL natural approach. I LOVE Bulk Herb Store :
They have a great selection of bulk herbs, books, and remedies. Articles, Research Aids and much more. You will find great things on their site.
- Healthy Daddy– Even if Dad has great, healthy, strong, swimmers and a high count, if he is under stress, not eating right or loaded up on toxins his quality just isn’t there. If the egg is fertilized with an unhealthy or weak sperm it could contribute to pregnancy loss. Dad needs to follow the tips above for stress, vitamins and eating, he should avoid over consumption of alcohol, avoid recreational drug use, and exercise regularly. Exercise relieves stress and boosts testosterone in men. Super Dad Vitamins are great real food vitamins. Dad needs to be tested for the MTHFR mutation also.
- Find supplements– Get the supplements you need. Research, ask for testing, talk to your midwife or doctor. Many women, especially those with stressful lives are deficient in B vitamins, D3(see: The Importance of Vitamin D3 ) and magnesium all of these can be found easily, are pretty much harmless unless taken in some mega-massive doses. There are many herbs that are known to help balance hormones and increase fertility. Of course check with your doctor first before taking any of these. Click the links below to find the brands I personally use. They are not the only brands out there, but they are my favorites.
- D3 Gold
- Natural Calm (this is a great magnesium supplement)
- Epsom Salt (a great way to get magnesium by soaking. Soaking= a great way to relax and eliminate stress)
- Magnesium Oil (another great way to absorb magnesium)
- Vitex– I haven’t used it but I have heard GREAT things about Vitex from many who were successful after years of trying.
- Macca Root– I ordered this supplement once for other reasons, I read the reviews and found many got pregnant on it. It is a food like yams so considered safe in food quantities.
- Red Raspberry Leaf– An old herb used in teas to fix everything female related.
- Know Your Cycle: I highly recommend “Taking Charge of Your Fertility” , read it, know it, live it. 🙂 Also follow up with Ovulation predictor tests (buy them in bulk) and charting. Get to know the things I didn’t write about here like cervical mucous and position. Many women do NOT ovulate right on time, my last pregnancy I ovulated on day 30 of my cycle. Typically you start 14 days AFTER you ovulate, you don’t necessarily ovulate 14 days after you start. You might ovulate 37 days after you start, that’s fine, just know when it happens. This book WILL teach you how to know. Also below are some links to ovulation tests that won’t break the bank. Be sure you know how to use them. With most you are looking for the test line to be DARKER than the control line. Unlike a pregnancy test you aren’t just looking for a line; you are looking for a DARKER line. There will often be a line at various points during your cycle. Tips for using OPK’s (ovulation predictors)
- Wondfo Opk this is a cheap and reliable brand, available on amazon.
- Start using them BEFORE you think you are going to ovulate, some people ovulate early. I typically start about day 9 of my cycle.
- Use mid-day or afternoon urine LH (the hormone that surges to signal ovulation) is typically highest in the early afternoon.
- NOTE: This is a PREDICTOR this does NOT mean that you have already ovulated, this means that your LH is surging, which SHOULD tell your body to release an egg. You will typically ovulate within 12 t0 36 hours AFTER a positive OPK . It could be as much as 48 to 72 hours later, so once you have a positive OPK do the baby dance everyday for several days.
- Pre-Seed / Lubricate: Use a lubricant like Pre-Seed or another TTC Lubricant . During your fertile period you should produce copious amounts of cervical mucous that protect the sperm and help them get to where they need to be, however, many, due to diet or hormones, have cervical fluid that is lacking. It might be too acidic, or maybe there just isn’t enough, so the sperm are dying or just not getting there. Regular lubricants can KILL sperm, so be sure you use the ones designed for making babies.
- Other things to consider:
- Eggs live about 12 to 24 hours
- It takes sperm about 12 to 24 hours to get to where they meet the egg.
- Sperm can live 2 to 3 days if conditions are right.
- You need to get the sperm in there BEFORE ovulation so that they are waiting when the egg is released. If you are only doing the baby dance on the day of ovulation and after you aren’t going to get pregnant, because by the time the sperm get all the way up to the egg, the egg is not longer viable.
- If you have taken any kind of hormonal birth control in the past you might need to reset your cycle, your body has been swamped with the wrong hormones and has been taught NOT to get pregnant.
- Remember, in any given month, even with well timed sex, there is only about a 5 to 15% chance of conception, which means, at the very least, you have an 85% chance of NOT getting pregnant, these things take time, so if you are just starting, give it time. For those of you who have been trying for months and years, this does not apply.
These are just a few tips that hopefully could be the one you needed to hear. They aren’t secret tips, they are just collected tips that I hope will help. I am blessed, I want that every woman who wishes to be so blessed has that opportunity. I have longed to have another child for years before conceiving again, I have lost a baby, I do not know the full struggle of infertility but I do know the longing and the ache. My prayers are with you Mothers.
I AM NOT A DOCTOR any information given here is simply what has worked for me personally. I take NO responsibility for your use of this information. You MUST talk to YOUR doctor before doing any of the things listed in the blog.
As Always: ALL posts on this blog may or may not contain affiliate links or links to my direct sales websites. This is because there is a monthly fee to run this blog and it costs time to keep it going. You are not required to click on any links, but if you do THANK YOU!! You are helping to support my blogging habit. (I would say my family but so far I haven’t even made enough to pay 1 month of blogging fees.) Thanks for stopping by and feel free to use my links or pass them along to friends. All help is greatly appreciated.